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The first time I felt a call to the religious life was
when I was 21 years old but being a sickly youngster, my doctor did not permit
me to enter. I felt the call again in my mid twenties but the verdict was still
a “no” from my doctor. It was about this time that Mother Redempta, a Belgian
sister, invited me to help her in kindergarten. Knowing her to be a holy nun, I
readily accepted her offer. I boarded in St. Theresa’s College with some other teachers
and became Mother Redempta’s assistant in the sacristy and did whatever I could
to help her like accompanying her to visit the sick relatives of our students.
She was a spiritual mother and a real mother in many ways.Fr. Denis Lynch, SJ, my spiritual director, believed I had a vocation so one day he invited me, my sister and several friends to visit a convent to see if I liked the work they were doing. I was told by my co-teachers that the place we would visit was a reform school. The lane we drove through to reach the school was lined with calachuchi trees on both sides. The place seemed haunted and I had an eerie feeling. I turned to my sister and whispered, “I won’t be caught dead in this place.” I told Father Lynch, I was not attracted to the work there.
One day, I told Mother I wanted to look after lepers but the answer was “no” as I did not have the stomach for it. Next, I wanted to enter the Carmelites like the Little Flower,Again, the answer was “no” as I was past the age but she added that the Little Flower said she would enter the Magdalens if she was not accepted at Carmel. I asked her who the Magdalens were, she said she did not really know. All she knew was that they wore white habits and live austere lives, praying and doing penance for sinners.
On one occasion, Mother Redempta handed me a pamphlet of Our Lady of Fatima, she asked me to read it and tell her later what it was all about. I related to her the message of Our Lady and added that if Our Lord would give me the gift of vocation, I would choose one that carried out Our Lady’s request for prayer and penance for the salvation of souls. I would ask, too, for the name of Our Lady of Fatima. (Which I did!)
Not long after this I had a strong faith experience where from the depth of my being I clearly heard with the ears of my heart Jesus inviting me once again to come follow Him. This time, there was no turning away. Fr. Lynch asked me what congregation I had decided on and when I told him I wanted to be a Magdalen but didn’t know who they were and where they lived, Father Lynch smiled and said he knew where to find them. (The “Magdalens” was the name used to call the Contemplatives of the Good Shepherd in the past.) He gave me the address and told me to ask Mother Redempta to take me there. He in turn would call Mother Francis, the superior of the convent and his good friend, to expect me on Sunday.
You can imagine my reaction when I entered the very place I told my sister emphatically “I won’t be caught dead in.”
My aspirancy lasted for almost four years because our monastery was not yet ready for occupancy. Mother Francis wanted us to wait in order to be the first postulants to occupy the house even though we would have gone abroad for our Novitiate.
The waiting went by fast enough because Jesus was my constant companion. In the years that followed pains, joys, sorrows, or whatever came my way, were felt of course, but it was only on the surface—like oil floating in water. Jesus was there—that was more than enough.
Now I wish others would see and understand the privilege of our vocation. Jesus came into the world to save humankind and with him and through him we continue his mission of giving glory to God and the salvation of souls through our lives of prayer and penance.
(Sr. Marie of Our Lady of Fatima Porter, CGS, was born in Cadiz, Negros Occidental. She made her first profession of vows as a Contemplative of the Good Shepherd on July 22, 1964. She prays for all of us in the silence of the CGS convent in Tagaytay City.)
